Permission to Twirl (for boys, too!)
I don't know of a child who doesn't twirl round and round. Whether it is to get wildly dizzy or to materialize being a balarina, ALL children TWIRL! I was NOT a girly girl, I preferred being outside getting dirty, riding my bike or helping my dad BUT when the wind or music or just a pure burst of childhood joy overtook me, I twirled.

When my first husband didn't know how to be a husband and couldn't hear, see or validate me, it literally crushed my spirit. I went with my best friend’s mom to a Gary Smalley marriage conference because she was widow and my now ex wouldn't go (in his defense, marriage conferences were still pretty new in the 80's). Smalley talked about communicating to the visual male mind via "word pictures" so I thought I'd give it a shot.

I wrote about a beautiful little girl singing, twirling and laughing in a field of flowers and sunshine who my then husband came upon and watched from afar. Delighting in my joy and freedom that he decided he simply needed to have in his life. After wooing me properly, even extravagantly, it all stopped shortly before the wedding and I felt that I was ripped from the sunshine and thrown into a dark, lonely dungeon without laughter, without joy. He didn't know what to do with this and our troubles continued to escalate and eventually broke us. I do what I do now believing that most marriages do not recieve the biblical plan for oneness, the skills and mindsets needed for healthy, love-filled unity.

All this flooded back to me when, today, my best friend and husband of 26 years gave me “permission to twirl.” Through tears, I allowed myself to worship God in praise and twirled! David knows my story well and purposes to see, celebrate and free the little girl within me. 

Marriage, as we go through all the stages and come to places of humbling ourselves to God and eachother, becomes God's chosen space for healing and freeing us from the hurts, sin, shame and regret that so easily entagle us and keep us trapped. We were NEVER meant to do this thing alone. We NEED guides along the way that have gone through some life to comfort from where they have been comforted. 

Thank you, Gary Smalley and the dozens upon dozen of books, podcasts, pastors, friends, classes, conferences and mentors who have guided me along the way SO I CAN TWIRL!

I invite YOU, little boy or little girl within, to TWIRL. Get alone in nature, turn on your favorite music, put your praise on, play with your kids or grandkids, dance with your spouse and let loose! This world has it's trouble BUT God has overcome it ALL so you can stop, drop and twirl!

Growing With You,


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